Just got lost...

I was the Queen of Habal-habal earlier

2012-01-08T07:20:00.000-08:00


Couldn't stop myself from snapping a photo while the habal-habal was heading to the baptism reception.

JJ's Baptism Reception

2012-01-08T06:56:00.000-08:00

It's a bird, it's a plane -- no it's JJ!

Sweet, sour, bitter and SPICY!

Happy, super sad, super mad, then WACKY!

Booking Confirmed: Siargao by March

2011-12-31T03:07:00.000-08:00

Goodbye Sagada, Siargao here we come.

Excuses

2011-12-19T01:31:00.000-08:00

I've been putting a lot of things aside lately.

I just want to chill for a few weeks.

I'll catch up with all of you -- ASEA, family, Alta Vista, Spanish, etc. -- soon.

I have a journal of never ending tomorrows -- sue me.

Celebrating my 26th -- Thanks, Mar. Love.

2011-12-15T05:37:00.000-08:00

Mara Ug Si Kaela

Mameh Verns

The memories they rush in a dizzying frenzy
Masscom, weekly, the hundred and one bum escapades
Those sorry but awesome months we spent in our infamous apartment
(I knoooooooow rrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiight)
..and the terror from seeing your purple face that ill-fated night

I am hard-pressed to find a silliman memory without you in it

but it is not the shared history, the common memories or the
mutual affection that draws that silly smile on my face.

it is you, our mommy who gives out free hugs and
giggles at the slightest promise of funny
who uses that tone when you say, 'ok rka baby?'
and then I know somebody cares for me

I long for the day we can relive those memories together.

thank you and miss you mameh... lablab!

xox

Amazing Race -- Bicol-Samar-Leyte Episode

2011-12-09T21:31:00.001-08:00

Preparing for "The Ultimate Bicol Escapade" with Claudine.

There's a slight tweak in the initial itinerary. Our date with the butanding can wait, we'll be going up north to CamSur to try our chances in wakeboarding. The thought sounds more exciting -- the giant fish has their charm, but we'd rather do it with the rest of the Bums with us. Choos! Hahaha.

Three regions in five days -- talk about adrenaline, tell me about it. We'll be on the road every day -- but hell, we can fit it in.

Here's the plan. Let me know what you think.

12.12 -- Float to Masbate

12.13 -- Masbate tour on my birthday!

12.14 -- a.m: Float to Bulan, Sorsogon

p.m: Lola Baba's 80th birthday and Grafilo Reunion

12.15 -- Roadtrip to Albay and Camsur (Mayon Volcano)

Wakeboarding in CWC in the afternoon

Overnight in Legaspi

12.16 -- Roadtrip to Samar-Leyte (San Juanico Bridge)

12.17 -- Cebu-bound via Ormoc

Did that fit well in your head? Or am I pushing it? Sounds like a version of the Amazing Race, but nevertheless -- every thing is possible, so long as every thing falls into place. I have faith in the High Almighty. He'll make it happen!

I'm excited. So excited, and I'm trying to keep it down. *breathe*

On my toes

2011-12-04T23:18:00.001-08:00

i'm finding it hard to write lately. i have a lot of thoughts -- some of them bothers me, some i relish on, some i can't seem to stop thinking about. there are some that scares the hell out of me, and some i can't help but look forward to. i have more than some stories to tell, but ironically -- every time i touch a pen or face the monitor, i lose the words. i find myself choosing my words carefully, or maybe too carefully -- i always end up with none.

so sad a fate of wordlessness -- i'm emoing and it sucks. i'm no good at this, i can't stand the drama. it's either i move on or shrug it off my shoulders. if there's one thing i'm good at, it'll be at dealing with what i have to and if need be -- moving on. or maybe i'm just too scared to get too tied down? i don't care. it's working well for me now.

i'm even amazed at how this trail of thought is leading me on. if a psychologist will read this -- he'll be able to point out the actual subject i'm nailing on. i'm just coating it with breadcrumbs and several sauces, but at the end of the day -- it's the same meat. crazy, huh? no, not really. just a lot of things running around in my head. i'm psychoanalyzing and self-diagnosing. it helps somehow -- in letting me deal with the how to's and the what not to's, but it can be too sickening -- argh!

well, i don't want to waste my time wallowing in those statics, there are numerous things i still need to tick off my checklist -- things to do, places to go to, food to eat, da da da. let me take a deep breath and start planning -- i have an island to explore, whale sharks to swim with and a volcano to photograph.

God is just great, he never runs out of tricks for me. he keeps me on my toes! i'm just glad that despite these tricks, he always provides a better option for my time and well-being. *laughs*

Got lost again

2011-12-02T09:30:00.001-08:00

Got lost in the past few days.

Tuesday -- cleaned the room, then visited Mama and my not-so-little cousins in Mandaue. Spent the night singing with Maria Carmille while Ted strummed the guitar.

Wednesday -- listened to Spanish dialogues in the morning. Curled Dyan's hair, dyed Maryil's in the afternoon. Went out for Krispy Kreme in the early evening.

Thursday -- Simala, my first out of town trip alone. It was a great feeling, and I'm definitely going to do another trip alone soon. Back in Cebu by the afternoon, and had a yoghurt-date with Jamiemu later in the evening.

Friday -- spent a quiet and lazy afternoon with Dyan and Maryil in Alta Vista. Had some pochero with Craui and J.o. -- and now I'm planning my birthday getaway with the former. Off to Masbate and Sorsogon, hopefully.

Saturday -- you'll be a surprise. Fill me in!

letting go, but gaining somehow

2011-11-21T00:56:00.001-08:00

i think i just surpassed another crossroad in my life. it feels great. i've finally let go, before making it too complicated. it's just love. i'll just have to make sure i don't confuse myself with what kind i have in mind. it's just a matter of perspective. at least now, i can smile and look at that person with great fondness without feeling the slightest hesitation whether it'll be misunderstood by no other but me.

and how apt -- the speakers is crooning "i'm so confused by you... i don't know what to do." life do have a way of making you laugh somehow.

Vegetable PatchWork in Progress

2011-10-12T07:50:00.000-07:00

I'm still staring at my hair that badly needs a touch-up job. Did I say retouch on the previous post? I know it's the wrong verbiage, but sue me -- I'm still a Filipino. I'm licensed to use Filipinisms every now and then. *laughs

What was I thinking a few minutes ago? My mind is a clutter -- it's a jungle of thoughts, and it jumps from one thought to another in a snap of a finger. Some kinda like George in the Jungle on one of those vines.

I was talking about a garden -- a vegetable patch to be exact. I was telling my dad I want to start a garden in the house. This thought actually caused a conflict between me and my brother, since he didn't give me a courteous answer when I asked for a good spot to start on my little project -- our vegetable patch.

See -- I wanted to grow our own squash, eggplants, tomatoes, carrots, onions, peppers.. probably some papayas, bananas, and so on. I think I have a little farm in mind, huh? I have this idea of making our house self-sufficient in terms of vegetables -- and okra! And maybe some mangoes too. I love mangoes -- but that would be too ambitious. I'll probably ask my aunt to grow a mango tree in the farm, I guess.

Going back, self-sufficiency is the idea. Not necessarily from all vegetables, but at least no matter what happens -- there will always be food on the table. Imagine having fresh vegetables in the kitchen anytime of the week -- ready for cooking. Fresh seasoned fruits -- we can just grab some and make a smoothie anytime we want. Isn't that great? We don't have to go out and pay much to enjoy a great meal or snack.

I still have a lot in mind. But I'll have to do it a step at a time. I started on the recycling project this week. I would need to research more on ways to recycle plastic wrappers though. Our vegetable patch is surely going to be on the way to reality before this year ends. It doesn't necessarily have to be there yet -- but at least I would need to know which space in the compound we're going to put it. And if the soil is not good enough -- I'm going to consult my aunt, who's great with plants, what to do. Maybe we could add some good topsoil on top. Or find a different alternative. Either way -- there will always be s way to work it out.

Excited. Can't wait for my first harvest.

Ramblings on a Rainy Day

2011-10-12T05:18:00.000-07:00

I should stop re-posting my status here in my blog -- it's sickeningly redundant. Not that people read this anyway -- it's just redundant. That itself is enough to make me sick -- and yes, I'm talking like Holden in Catcher in the Rye. I can totally make a point with these words with only the first sentence in tow -- and the whole thought would be complete. I can't shut-up anyway.

My position bothers me right now, not totally but somehow it does. I am totally opposite my own reflection -- since I placed my netbook in the dresser with an old huge mirror in the middle.

And every time I look up -- I see myself. Together with a lot of things I'd rather not think about -- i.e. my hair badly needs a retouch, I haven't taken a bath, dark circles starting to form under my eyes, I'm slouching... Do i need a haircut? No, I'm determined to grow my hair this time. Really now? Well, until I get bored enough to hit the nearest salon. I haven't even brushed my teeth! Not kissing anyone anyway.

I'm touching my belly -- it's growing from eating non-stop since I arrived last Friday. Not even a week yet, and I'm settling down really well. My belly's growing it's own built-in belt bag. Somehow, I'm practicing how I'm going to look like if I get pregnant. Like this, huh? *looking at the mirror sideways, letting my belly protrude

Not bad, eh. Well, I really do hope a baby's growing inside my belly right now. With my reproductive health issues -- I seriously want to have a baby ASAP. The ongoing question around is "Who's the daddy?". Well, I'd say -- it's a donor. Identity not important. The important thing is -- his cell gave life to mine.

I am excited to know if there's life in my belly right now. I'm reading books on pregnancy and motherhood already. I even researched regarding early signs of pregnancy! If my period doesn't come by the 19th -- I'm crossing my fingers and toes!!! There better be ---

I still have mixed feelings regarding it. I know a lot of things will change with it - my relationships with a lot of people including my family, my priorities, my future. But I think I'm strong enough to handle those. God knows I want to have kids -- and hearing the doctor's words saying I might not have one if don't make one ASAP is enough to rock my world big time.

What I did might be a little too rash and drastic. But please.. Let there be life in me.

Signal#2

2011-10-11T23:00:00.000-07:00

It's been more than six months since the last time I came home, and definitely years has passed since the last typhoon I had here.

Signal#2 -- I've forgotten how hard the rain falls around here. Is it because we're in the highlands -- we're somehow closer to the skies? I don't know, but their impact somehow feels harder on the ground.

And the wind howls like 10-wheelers speeding in the highway! Damn, it's cold.

Somehow, the whole feeling of home wraps around me even with the typhoon drama going on. Warm drink, warm blanket, home movies, pets, some hugs and late night snacks -- all these just made my vacation extra special.

GOAL: Plastic wrapper Beanbag by Christmas!

2011-10-11T22:13:00.000-07:00

Apparently, getting three clean sacks pose a little challenge to the people around me. I'll have to do without them.

Pet bottles -- we don't use much around here. We have potable water, and the only pet bottles you see are from Pepsi Max indulgence, which is very much in use as drinking water storage. Whatever smaller bottles are used for containers of such and such. So, this part has been taken cared of.

Tin cans -- we consume approximately 6-10 canned goods weekly. One of our drivers buys and sells them -- he's taking care of that for us.

Plastic wrappers -- this is my main project, since there's a whole bunch of them in the house. Since my mom has also been addicted to folding them into small triangles, it's becoming easy to trace them. I just wanted to organize the whole hoarding process.

There's a lot of things that can be done with these plastic wrappers, but the most common and easiest way for this is to cut them into small strips and use them as fillers for throw pillows, small stuffed toys -- well, me and my sister are looking at something ambitious... a beanbag-sized plastic wrapper fiber filled something. I wonder how may hours of cutting plastic wrappers we'll have to invest in to come up with that! But it's a goal -- and it makes our plastic hoarding activity fun. Since we have something to look forward to. Plastic wrapper Beanbag by Christmas!

Some of the folder wrappers are also going to end up in our Christmas Tree. Momie's already separating the Energen wrappers that she has folded. They have the same size and they can be sewn together to make a long Christmas string that we can wrapped around the tree, or we can just hang them separately. We could paint them with a lot of colors -- but we could also keep them as ease, they just have to be varnished though, so they'll stay permanently folded.

Oh well! We started cutting them wrappers already. I showed them how to cut them correctly -- thin strips, about an inch long -- so it'll fluff and add body when we use them as fillers. If it's any bigger, it's not going have the same effect.

We're halfway through a medium-sized plastic bag already -- still a long way to go for our Plastic wrapper Beanbag by Christmas! So what?! We're definitely heading there. *smiles*

Recycling at home

2011-10-09T04:01:00.000-07:00

I have several goals while I'm here. But the two immediate ones are the following:

(1) Segregate the plastic wrappers, pet bottles, tin cans and cartons.
(2) Find ways to recycle these to make money from trash.

I was thinking of selling the pet bottles, tin cans and cartons for recycling.

It's the plastic wrappers that I still don't know know what to do with. I know my cousin used to cut them into small strips and use it as fillers for homemade pillows. She did it for a high school project. I was thinking of doing the same -- maybe fillers for simple home made stuffed toys and pillows still.

First things first -- I need three clean sacks.

A tiny secret on my hip

2011-10-08T23:19:00.000-07:00

Dandelions on my hip -- an oracle of time and love.

It is faithfulness at it's most pleasant and joyous. It is a child at play, a girl's wishes coming true, butterflies dancing, an exotic romantic daydream, a happy place, a wonderful escape. a secret love affair, random kisses, a stolen glance... and the list goes on.

It is freedom, good fortune and romance topped with chocolate thoughts. It is the energy that teaches the true meaning of love and life.

It is every thing that made this life meaningful.

It is love.

Sunday's Best

2011-10-08T19:48:00.000-07:00

I skipped mass with the family today.

Not exactly proud to do that - you should've seen the look on my mom's face when I changed into my pajamas instead of dressing up.

I didn't look at her, I just ran to the upper floor and shouted I love her. She was frowning while following my every move -- I know, because I did a quick peek before I closed the door in the room.

I just acted like a juvenile teenager, didn't I? *sigh*

New List Before the Bucket!

2011-09-25T00:49:00.001-07:00

I used to feel like I'm running out of time to do things I have listed for myself. A different breeze brushed my cheek lately, and it made me feel like I'm 15 all over again. I'm updating my bucket list, and I have hundreds of things I've always wanted to try and experience.

I'm going to dig in another rollercoaster w/ a 360degree loop, dive in a waterfall, drive a racecar, go surf, snorkel, scuba and more. I still want to die my hair pink, be fluent in Spanish, learn to mix 10 cocktails, cook for a party, go to India, fall in <3 all over again and hope I stay in-<3 this time, go bunjee jumping, take a plunge, get another tattoo, learn aikido, dance capoiera, learn to do a backflip, get a pet dog that doesn't shed, plant a tree, name a star, fly a plane, eat a tub of pistachio ice cream, decorate a cake, bake oatmeal choco-chip cookies, cry in a comedy flick, go to the movies ALONE, take art lessons, have a baby, dance with my Dadie, publish a (picture) book, ride a cruise ship, kiss in a bonfire, camp under falling stars, paint a house, dance in the rain, road trip w/ friends...

The list doesn't end there, I'm sorry. *laughs*

There's more, but it would be Facebook sacrilege to share them all. Thank God for dear youth. Hahaha!

Stay the same

2011-09-18T23:35:00.000-07:00

Say, you and me be together.

I wonder how long can we keep each others interest... A month or two? Lucky if we'll make it a year. Will there be a touch of hostility or maybe we'll just turn cold? Then, will it be another one of those goodbyes all over again?

If that's the case, let's just stay this way. Either way, I still love you. <3

My wedding will be an offshoot of this

2011-09-03T23:10:00.000-07:00

My friend Sheena was able to emulate the kind of wedding I want to have -- simple, private, sweet and by a garden near the beach. I can't stop browsing at her wedding pictures and smile -- and laugh and laugh some more. I'll share some of the pictures from her wedding, so you'll know what I mean. Hahaha!

Best wishes to Sheena!

Funny cool topper.

Sheena: "Come and get me!"

Ryan: "I'm coming!"

Ooops! Haha. This is an epic shot.

Hell, yeah!

Sheen, have you been practicing your jumps?

This is it! Hahaha!

August Rush

2011-08-01T07:24:00.000-07:00

It's off writing this in an internet cafe. Thanks to a self-made booboo, I had to confine Netty in Boinkee's care. She's not even on the way to recovery.

August, and things are running pretty fast -- both at work and in the family. Some personal and health concerns are popping out of nowhere, and I'll just chill -- or I might lose the little sanity I have left. Or maybe I should just grab a bottle of beer and down it in.

Just dropping by anyway. I'm not in the mood for an expansive narrative. I feel exposed in this place right now. So, I'll shut up.

PMS

2011-07-16T01:57:00.000-07:00

My period's coming in a few days, and my hormones are going crazy. And once they start acting up -- my mood swings faster that the swing in the playground.

I have a lot of things in mind. I have a lot of unreleased energies as well. I probably need a good **** to let this all out (don't turn green when you're filling those * out). Go green, I don't care. I'll probably run later, or maybe dance.

I should've ordered tea or maybe juice instead of this mocha drink. The sugar and caffeine is making my restlessness level up-up-UP! This is crazy.

Back to the things I have in mind. I can't even begin -- finances? Well, I'm always broke lately. I'm grateful though, being this broke forced me to manage my poverty. Call this credit management? There's still progress at the end of the day. Not a lost cause. It's all about moving forward and learning anyway.

Now, I want to cry. But I can't just cry without any valid reason? I'm in public, for pete's sake. I just have this urge to weep -- resolution: I'm gonna watch a movie later. *laughs*

Huh? Stop right there. I just said I wanted to cry, but me laughing now is an exact contrary of what I'm supposed to be wanting. Crazy, huh? You're probably right. Dude, am I crazy? Did the milk spilled all over the moon again?

*sigh*

Okay, I'm just beating around the bush. I'll figure this out later. I'll be fine. Besides, there's a mental ward nearby. Not a long walk.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! Verna, you are crazy. And stop self-arguing -- it's not helping. It's just adding more butterflies to your stomach.

Oh yeah, stop thinking.

And, fuck off.

Reload Software: 552

2011-05-21T08:13:00.000-07:00

Last weekend, I had a grand time downloading themes and games to my phone. Every thing was going smoothly until I changed the theme to an animated one. Before the whole settings updated -- the phone froze! I waited for a few minutes, but apparently nothing happened.

So, I took the battery out for a few minutes. Replaced it and it rebooted by itself. Well, I thought it was going to be okay -- but no, it gave me a white screen with that "reload software: 552" in the middle.

I did basic troubleshooting several times to no avail, and for the first time -- I called customer care. They gave me bunch of instructions on how to update my software -- however, my pseudo-dyslexia kicked in before I could exhale. And my world started to darken...

I went to my provider's service center -- and they said that they have to send it back to Singapore and the whole thing will take around two months. Two months?? Are they effin' kidding me?! So, I said I'll check other options.

So much for what happened during the week -- I'm just relieved that my phone is okay now. Thanks to Tina who lent me her dvd portable drive, so I could install the software; to Zee, who brought her laptop and lent me her broadband so I could research and work on fixing my phone; to Neil and Arpay, for just being there; and to Jay and Mich, for the assistance even just in FB -- even if Jay said that he didn't help at all, it still made a difference.

This is too emo over a phone, huh?! I'm just so happy and relieved right now. I'm so happy that my BB is back in my fingers. *sigh*

Tattooed?

2011-04-30T23:30:00.000-07:00

thinking of getting a tattoo again -- no rush on it though, i've been putting it off for years. i'm looking at numerous things that caught my fancy -- i initially wanted to get a fairy or an elf, but then i realized that i don't want anything that has a face. that face might look back at me in my dreams and haunt me - geez... please!

so, i'm narrowing it to these options -- gerbera daisies, dandelion with notes or butterflies, lotus, hearts, stars, and etc. apparently, not so narrow after all. gotta narrow it down a little bit more... *laughs*

Separation blues again

2011-04-06T19:01:00.000-07:00

Janjan is graduating this Sunday, and Marianne's going home on Wednesday. Julius is also graduating the following Sunday, and will leave for Manila a week after that.

In short, only JR and I left in the house. He promised to keep me company though, but it's the thought of the rest of them leaving. Although I know the two guys are coming back, but it's Marianne that I'm not so sure about.

This is probably one of the worst separation anxieties I've ever had. I don't know. I'm prepping up myself pretty well. It's just that... Things will be so different in less than a week, and thinking about it is enough to make me cry - that's why I don't think about it too much.

Well, we always move on. It's just that this is one of the situation that I don't want to move on without. I resigned on that though - God has his reasons, and I'm not going to question it. I'm just grateful for the good times and happy memories that I had and hopefully will still have from these kids. He knows how much I love them.

Generations

2011-03-21T15:51:00.000-07:00

I didn't grew up knowing much about grandparents. Although I grew up with my mom's Nanay with us, she passed away when I was 18.

A year later, I met my dad's uncle I fondly call Lolo - my dad's mom's first cousin. I didn't have anyone to call Lolo before that, so he became a fixture in my life since then.

Yesterday, one Lolo multiplied to three together with Lolas as well. I met the children of my great-grandmother's first cousin who migrated to Alabel, Sarangani.

The story goes that my great-grandmother's brother went to Mindanao with a first cousin. The brother settled in Zamboanga, while the cousin went to Cotabato. The brother married a Zamboangena - they had three kids where my Lolo is the youngest. The cousin stayed in Cotabato and no communications were made with the growing family there, until recently.

It's funny listening to them talk about the same people, and if you come to think of it - it's not a far off generation. They were the kids of the two cousins who went to ventured down south.

It's amazing how you just met these people but immediately feel the warmth of something familiar. At the end of the day, it's undeniably family.

Choochoo Train

2011-03-17T10:34:00.001-07:00

Listening to Nina’s “Someday”, thinking of the song – and still determined not to be in that particular situation anymore.

I hate losing an inspiration. It stops me from doing things I cherish, although if I’m going to look at it in another perspective – it is somehow good for me. Since I’m not caught up with butterfly thoughts, I tend to accomplish a lot of things.

Well, another break from my old mushy self then. This is great – I can spend my time working for my Lolo and his projects while his away. There’s so much to do – the next six months will not be enough with what he has in mind.

I also have a lot of catching up to do on some old “notes to self” that are piling up in my memory corkboard. I haven’t even finished the books I hoarded from a lot of people. I haven’t had my old laptop fixed, law books that I need to return, an email content that I have to compose, and the list actually goes on.

When I think about where I’m at right now, I can’t help but smile this time. I used to easily wallow in loneliness and probably shed a tear or two… but this time, these moments have evolved into quiet moments to reflect on the different things that are happening around you and on the things that you’ve learned. It’s a perfect time to ponder on the things you’d like to do differently and working on things you’d like to improve on.

Life is just beautiful, isn’t it? It’s a never ending evolution – we roll with it and we don’t even notice it. It’s amazing.

I’m laughing right now – this post sounded drunk and disoriented, but it makes sense to me now. I’m not going to go through what I’ve written this time – and I’ll hit the publish button before I could stop myself. I’ll read it again a little later – like tomorrow perhaps? And I’ll check how much my mindset has changed since the moment I posted this. It’s a boring thought, but it’s funny enough to tickle my shallow funny bone. *laughs*

Minesweeper Addict

2011-03-13T05:20:00.001-07:00

This picture says it all. I'm so proud of myself! Hahaha!

Pandora-ed

2011-03-12T14:39:00.000-08:00

"a pandora moment.
it slapped me across the face.
i ate my words,
and it didn't taste good."

Facebookless?

2011-03-08T05:28:00.000-08:00

Nothing's really going on.
I've reached the point of boredom.
Nothing really much to update people on.
I know it'll be a temporary thing, but I deactivated my Facebook account anyway.
I wonder how temporary this will be...
I know I'll be tempted to log back in pretty soon.
Hours later? Or will it a week later?
Hmmmm...

Becoming just another day

2011-03-08T04:42:00.000-08:00

Just another day today. And yes - our after shift hangouts has become a daily thing. Either with Aubrey or Zee - with or without Van. One thing for sure - Neil and I are always there.

Yesterday was with Zee - we bought Spanish bread in Anita's and ate it on the way to Watson's where I bought toiletries and Neil bought Nagaraya (?). McDonalds became the next stop - too bad I didn't take a single photo yesterday. It was kinda gloomy yesterday - from the shift to the after laters... The three of us basically talked about things we don't laugh about - like family and yesterdays. Not much laughs today, but we're glad we had each other to share this not-so good day. Zee accompanied me to renew a pawned ring's contract and called it a day.

Today, it was with Aubrey and Van was there. I went in half day today - woke up on the wrong side of the bed with sore throat and developing dysmenorrhea. I was still holding a grudge against Van because of some petty thing on QC yesterday, but I vented it out during lunch. We wanted to get some halo-halo from Razon's again, so we went to Ayala.

We ate in Spaghetti Factory. Their pastas are great, but I hate the plate they use for their value meals - it's small and didn't respect the food that we're eating. I asked for a bigger plate so I could enjoy my meal - and yes, I love their pesto.

Razon's again moments later - and I was too busy enjoying their halo-halo I forgot to snap a photo to share again. Van keeps on rushing to go home - he lives in the outskirts and traffic can be pretty terrible during rush hour and he still needs to drop-by Globe to fix his phone service. We kept on bugging him to stay a little longer - until we all decided to go.

... Go with him to Globe. We sat in the platform with a big-chunk-of-wood-in-the-middle-that-they-pitifully-call "art". We gossiped, people-watched, laughed, talked and just stayed there until Van missed his turn and had to go inside and do whatever. Time flies when you're having fun. It was almost 6:00pm, and we didn't even notice.

Time to call it a day again.

Cleaning out our closet!

2011-03-07T00:07:00.000-08:00

I should have started taking pictures when the newly laundered clothes were piled on top of the bed - it was a lot!

Marianne polished our silver accessories, while I finished folding the clothes on the bed.

... the clothes on the bed -- what's left of it anyway...

My Elephant pendant now shiny and clean! Yeyey!

Panties in the drawer already, ready for another round...

Most of these are Janjan's clothes that still need to be ironed. Overall impact -- our closets are clean na!

Another Weekend Roundabout

2011-03-05T05:38:00.000-08:00

mytoto finally said "no sked today"...
me getting comfy after work hours...
while zee messes around a van seriously taking calls...
a jeepney ride to the punko-punko...

several moments in-between... mcdo basically... gotta ask zee for the photos... van needs a haircut... groupie club eating green mango w/ oyap...

only dumaguetenos take pictures in red ribbon said someone... but who's in the photo?... hmmm... this is not where it ended, trust me... *laughs*

had 1 less grande or we'd have finished a case... still, we laughed a lot... and still, i couldn't remember exactly what we laughed about... i know, it must be something funny...

-030311-

An Email: A Refresher

2011-03-04T07:46:00.000-08:00

Date : February 24.

To : lilymuffin08@ymail.com

From : georgia_mendez@gmail.com

Subject : Ranting!

Lily! Lily!

Listen. I know this is driving you nuts, but please bear with me. It’s bad enough that you’re not here – so... Just so!

This is stupid, I know – me bouncing back and forth between the thoughts of the two of them.

I didn’t see Paul for several days and during that duration I kind of grown a little comfy with Matthew, and kind of getting used to his company. You know Matt, right? He was the guy in blue beside me in Chuck’s Bistro. We’re not really an item, but our tandem just kind of kick off at work. Coffee and lunch together, hang-outs after shift, trips here and there, overtimes and doing some work outside the office together just kind of became a habit.

And with that – I thought I was one step ahead on my course of moving on from the former – but I was proven wrong again today.

He came by and spent some time. While he was messing around with my siblings, I thought that this is great - “he’s here, and I’m thinking about Matt”. That thought didn’t last long though. The moment he looked at me – I know it was still him. We joked around and watched a movie. He had to leave a little early though, and he took my heart with him when he left. I was sure it felt like an “I miss you and you’re not even gone yet” moment. That sounded bad, huh? So emo. I think I’m going to get sick.

On the other hand, Matt is nice. He completes my checklist too. It’s just that Paul completes the checklist plus, plus. It’s like watching home shopping – “Wait! There’s more!” This is hilarious. *laughs*

Although trust me, I might end up telling you something totally opposite tomorrow. Because, by tomorrow – I’ll be with Matt the whole day working on the marketing plan for next week’s presentation, and Paul will be elsewhere I’m not. In total fairness to Matthew, he makes me laugh effortlessly – even without saying anything.

But still, as of the moment... I’m still where I was a week ago.

I know, Lil – this is so juvenile. After all these years, I thought I knew better – but apparently not. I still wear my heart in front of my tank tops. It’s so bad – it looks like Island Souvenir’s I LOVE CEBU shirts. But hey – give me kudos for not washing my linens in public. Fuck it – never.

Anyway, I don’t know if I’m waiting for your reply. I think I’m more like dreading it. I can feel a row coming. Please, you don’t have to – I just want to air this out. This is not something you easily write as a status in FB, you know. *sigh*

And before I forget – I MISS YOU, BRAT!

This is Barbie signing off.

Love, Gia

2011-02-25T21:43:00.000-08:00

Another weekend starter – we went out to eat. Debated where to all over again, since one wants this and the other wants to go to another. The other just wants dessert, while I just followed the trend – I could order anything in wherever they’ve decided on – which was unexpectedly, Greenwich.

I had lasagna, and a lot of laughs. Turtle brownie a la mode in Dessert Factory fueled sugar in my system, and we laughed some more. If you’re going to ask me what we talked about – I couldn’t really remember. One thing I was sure of – it was funny. Or not, we laughed anyway.we

After the food trips - we ended up hanging around the lawn near the terraces until the daylight turned into night. The stars came and other people are doing their thing - stargazing even when there were so little sparkles in the sky.

We were exhausted but happy anyway. Two of us went home ahead, while four of us decided to stay and eat dinner. Chowking - thanks to Zee's coupons.

These hang-outs have become a weekend thing – our rest day starter. Something we look forward to.

Watermelon Butterfly Popsicles

2011-02-21T22:37:00.000-08:00

Namnam watermelo flavored butterfly twin-popsies -- Yum!
Dessert after a great meal -- tenchu much Duckweedie, Boinkee, and Momy Flor!
Weekend dig before the Valentines.
-021311-

I found my Liliput afterall -- in Siquijor

2011-02-20T22:10:00.000-08:00

Sharing some mementos from my trip. More to come!

Looking for my Liliput

2011-02-16T02:16:00.000-08:00

Watching Gulliver’s Travel - Jack Black working his way to the “bermuda triangle”, while thinking of my weekend trip that might not materialize after all. After being excited for the last three weeks, now that it’s only a couple of days away – two of our colleagues are about to chicken out because of several reasons.

Liliput. The place where Gulliver landed in his voyage – and he ended up having the time and opportunity of his life. The story was great. I’m probably going to run it again like how I watched Tangled four times already. However, this weekend, Verna will be in her own voyage for her own Liliput if Siquijor will not materialize.

Where? That exactly, where.

Definitely not Bohol, been there countless times – although I’ve never been to Panglao, but still Bohol would be the last on the list. Cagayan? On a boat, let me ask friend for details. Camotes? This is mind-boggling.

I have to get out of Cebu!

A day in Paradise

2011-02-11T22:35:00.000-08:00

February 8.Thanks to a Christmas incentive, Marianne and I was able to spend a day in Shangri-La for free.

We didn't really maximize on the inclusions, since we have appointments later in the afternoon. But we toured the place, took a lot of photos, indulged in their buffet, and spend a long time in the powder room.

It was a great day altogether. But it would have been better if the guys were with us. I can imagine us running around, playing catch or pushing each other in the pool, feeding the fish, swinging the swing and just having fun. It's still a great day anyway.

Bulong Evening

2011-02-08T01:21:00.000-08:00

February 2, 2010.

After my historifun adventure with my teammates, the kids went to SM so we could watch Vhong Navarro's Bulong. They were very excited, they even came up with a seating arrangement that would make it easier for them to attack me -- weeks before the showing date. I ended up between Janjan and Julius, and JR still manages to reach me even if his seating on the far end. *laughs*

Here are some photos of us messing around in SM while waiting for the movie to start.

A Birthday Party in Betty's

2011-02-04T23:36:00.000-08:00

It was Ileen's 25th birthday yesterday.

Rhobie and I met ahead to get her gifts in Robinsons. We ended up doing more than that.

Rhobie, Ileen and Maan were my closest peers in law school, and even if Maan and I are no longer enrolled - we make it a point to update each other with what are the goings-on with each others' lives.

And yes, it was Ileen's birthday. The rest of the 409ers were also present - the gurls that rocked the classroom. Haha! It was a fun afternoon. We laughed so hard and messed around - who would've thought that this is a group of law students?! Well, they are - two of us are not anymore.

We reminisced on a lot of the stupid things we did during the first semester, and laughed some more. They also updated us with what's going on with their continuous battle with law and it's professors. It's nice listening to them talk and know that somehow some things just stays the same.

I miss these gurls. I wonder if I'll ever enroll again, although somehow I'm also too sure that I won't. I'd love to see them become attorneys in four years time - and that's not so far ahead. It's just several season and several few turns.

HistoriFun Day

2011-02-03T01:08:00.000-08:00

My day ended like how it was planned – but the goings-on before it culminated were quite unexpected.

When we logged off – we were undecided. Aubrey so want to go to Taoist Temple, but most of us voted against it because of the weather. She couldn’t be swayed with a simple tete-a-tete over good food since she brought her camera and wants to la mierda and take a lot of pictures. I wouldn’t contra the picture taking part – it’ll be fun.

We kicked it off with a visit to the Sto. Nino Shrine – we lighted candles, said our prayers and went around the shrine snapping photos like we were some kind of tourists. The latter part took 98% of the whole time we were in the shrine. And since Magellan’s Cross is right outside the shrine’s gates – we also snapped more photos then we started walking to what I would say the “highlight” of our afternoon – Fort San Pedro.

It was my first visit – and this fort has been standing right in front of my nose since forever. It looks like a mini-Intramuros – and it’s beautiful. The walls were so tall and tainted with a lot of mystery with cannons sticking out everywhere. A lot of tourists are also pouring in and out of the gates. Jonathan said that this is a good venue for a wedding – I looked at the place, the lawn, the trees, the whole ambience and turned around – and he’s right, I couldn’t agree more. We went around, took a lot of photos – even a photo with a cat – and took some more photos, while Van sulk around. Well, he said he’s okay and he’s just like that – and we know he’s the loner type, so we’re not going to make that an issue. He made an effort to come with us, and our party won’t be complete without him anyway.

Later on, we were famished and wanted to eat – Neil, Van and I went out ahead. We were puzzled since it took an awful long time for Aubrey and Jonathan (our dedicated photographer of the day) to show up outside the gates. And lo-and-behold – we saw them near the hallways of the gates, with Aubrey posing in every possible corner. It was amusing – it’s really nice to take a lot of pictures while you are young, so you have something to look back when you are older. Aubrey is obviously maximizing on that. Basta, bottom line: hungry.

Off to SM –and I had my first taxi ride with a receipt. I kept the receipt – will take a photo of it and will definitely post it here. We pigged out in Mang Inasal – apparently the majority of the group relished on the unlimited rice.

Later on – we still took pictures, walked around, had cottong candy, a whole lot of pictures while I had sugar rush and moved on to Bibo where we rode bump cars while Van became our photographer. We played some more games, took more pictures and laughed a lot more – and Van disappeared. We went out to look for him, we were tired ourselves – he was in the Foodcourt drinking soda. We joined him and decided to get some Halo-halo in Ice Castle. Okay – so we headed there.

I was supposed to go home at 6:00pm, because the kids and I also had plans to watch Vhong Navarro’s Bulong. But since I was just in SM, I called them up and told them I’ll just wait for them in SM. Also asked Marianne to bring an extra blouse for me – I felt soiled already.

Moments later, colleagues off – manghods in.

Janjan called and informed me that they’re on the way to pick-up Julius in Velez and they’ll be in SM soon. I went up the cinema to check the time and waited in Thirsty. Moments later – Marianne, Janjan, Julius and JR came – and yes, the boys started to tickle me again. I had to remind them of the memo that they signed! They are now refuting it with the fact that they didn’t write forever there. I had to recite what Julius wrote there.

Anyway, bottom line again – I ended my February 2 as planned – Bulong. I’ll tell you about Bulong some other time. Trust me – a lot to say about it as well.

Calciumated Me

2011-02-01T01:39:00.000-08:00

a rest room moment.

aubrey casually asked me if i drink milk - i said "no, i'm lactose-intolerant". she started talking about getting more calcium and other sources of it, because apparently the body stops producing it when you turn 30 - which is not a long way from where we're standing.
the moment she blurted that out - a pseudo-panic started to rumble in my head. i mean, i already have a metal ankle, two porcelain-filled teeth, a broken nose -- and my body is still producing calcium at that level. so, at 30 - when it-being-my-body will stop producing calcium... what am i looking at? this sounds like a washed-down version of health doomsday for me, huh?

Flame-it Flushed

2011-01-31T05:03:00.001-08:00

A lot of people has been bragging about their burgers. It has been years since I’ve heard them make a huge fuss about the taste, the flavor and about the yada-yada. I’ve joined the monopoly of saying “Yeah, their burger’s are great they say.”

Finally, Marianne and I took the plunge – we went in and ordered their cheese burger and spaghetti.

*dead air*

So, this is what they were making a fuss of?

I mean, don’t get me wrong – their burger is okay. The patty is good – grilled not fried. The flavor of the meat was preserved. It was a seven out of ten.

But the spaghetti was a different story. The pasta was overcooked to the point of being soggy. The sauce was too sweet – I can’t figure out if it was sugar or ketchup. I was dreaming of Jollibee’s spaghetti while eating it – and I was never a Jollibee spaghetti fan.

So far, this is the worst spaghetti I’ve ever had – I’m sorry.

Mosquito dessert

2011-01-27T09:10:00.000-08:00

it's RD -- i was so drunk last night, i barely made it to bed. i did several blunders. did things i hope i didn't - another charge to experience moments. but on the other hand - somehow, they felt right - in a nonsensical superficial kind of way.

i didn't go out today. the farthest i went to is this bench - in my neighbor's turf, for dear wifi. the mosquitoes are feasting on my legs right now, but -- to hell with them all bloodsuckers. if only they suck my fats instead - i'll be a willing meal every day.

i have a lot of things running in my head - i'll sort them out later. i haven't found the right words to type yet, or would i ever find the right words to phrase them? they're like ten-wheelers running in a mental expressway -- you just can't say "Stop!" without them running over you. gotta let them run along you metal bitches --- hahaha!

i seem to be cursing a lot... hmmm.. time to shut this down -- anyway, so long for now. metal bitches -- will be fishing you later.

Attack!

2011-01-23T22:36:00.000-08:00

They made me cry last night.

They tickled me once too much and I wasn’t able to take it. I don’t exactly know why I cried. It was after the movie, the three of them ganged up on me and they wouldn’t stop. I was so helpless against the three of them. The next thing I know, I was sobbing by Janjan’s side. It was silly – but I cried anyway.

And while I was finishing my teary moments behind my pillow, they wrote a note saying that they are not going to tickle me anymore – it looked like a mini-contract complete with their signatures. I read it when the boys left to buy juice. It was so cute – I couldn’t help but laugh.

They drive me crazy, and I love them.

Cotton candy goodbyes

2011-01-22T00:58:00.000-08:00

Sooner or later, I have to let you go.

I never really had you for real, but you are a regular in my thought’s cafe. This will not be an easy task, but I’m undoing the tiny knots of cotton candy colored threads holding Polaroid memories in the corners of my hypothalamus. I’m not going to burn them or throw them away – they are, after all, memories of the good times I had with you.

The time I had with you was beautiful – I couldn’t find a better word. And I want to keep it that way – I don’t want to taint it with love-hurt clichés. I just want to keep it as it is – beautiful.

I must admit that letting you go will sting a little bit - I can't help it, I'm just a girl.

Fuck the Fish

2011-01-21T23:54:00.000-08:00

I need an inspiration to go to work.

Real bad.

It’s been nine days since the last time I went to the office, although I am on sick leave due to some ailments involving my larynx. But sick or not, I am not wanting to go to work these days.

I probably need an angel who’ll whisper good words to hypnotize me into taking calls again. I mean, I love my job – who else will pay me good money to just sit for eight hours and answer calls, right? Again... I am not in the position to complain! I have a good job in a great company with a generous account. I just need to will to go to work! That’s all.

I know, i know. I don’t need any of those inspiration or angel’s whisper or what not. This is just my attitude towards the whole concept of working. It’s not a change of career that I need. It’s a change of attitude and perspective. I need an overhaul!

(Reminder: I need to get my touchpad’s driver reinstalled. The lock and multi-touch features are not working again.)

Okay, back to perspective. Let’s go back to the Fish Philosophy. A very simple way of living, and yet it keeps you going. One, choose your attitude. It’s freaking number one!!! Shut up and get going. Two, make one’s day. Three, play. And four, be present! There, all laid out for you again.

Fuck the Fish Philosophy then. I abided with these tiny set of rules last year, and it brought me to Top3 in the whole site. I’m not aiming for the top charts anymore. I just want to clear my path again. Just take in a deep breath, and exhale – to clear my mind and path. Whew! The breathing part was easy... I still can’t see the path I am talking about though. It’s still as hazy as the sky tonight.

Well, dude. This is supposed to be your swan’s dance to your bumming days. Because, by Sunday dawn – your ass is supposed to be sitting in your station.

Verna – it’s time to be a fish again. Fuck the aquarium!

Fuck every thing!

Prosing all over again

2011-01-21T23:49:00.000-08:00

The light is out.
Nothing left to do, but think of you.

You – a figment of my dreams.
(012111, 10:00pm)

***

As much as I know
that the odds are against us,
I can’t help but pray
that you’ll learn to love me
like I do you.

It’s insane,
but let me be crazy
one more time.
(011611, 1:15am)

***

I told myself I’d be fine...
But now, I doubt myself a lot,
it bothers me.

I don’t trust myself
that much, after all.
(011511, 10:32pm)

*Prosing.
Remembering moments with Xander
- how we let ink flow from our veins
and let it bleed right into words.

Mushy over My Amnesia Girl

2011-01-18T04:47:00.000-08:00

My Amnesia Girl - the culprit.

I was hoping for a good laugh, but I somehow forgot the Filipino romantic-comedy plot. I mean I forgot the drama part? Where the whole plot starts to go a little too mushy...

And that part I wasn’t ready for. I ended up crying like a sissy highschooler. The thing that sucks is that when I start crying – the main issue is how to make it stop. My tear duct seems to have a problem with keeping the tears inside once they start falling out.

I just really find it hard to stop crying once I start. It's stupid. I sometimes laugh while my tears are still falling, but I just can't seem to keep the tears from coming out. I’m just happy that only Janjan and Marianne were there – I couldn’t imagine the teasing if Julius and JR were there to see me mush around.

It would be a disaster. *laughs*

Bottle up in the Air

2011-01-18T04:34:00.000-08:00

Sinulog, January 16.

I stayed inside the room the entire day. It was raining, and I wasn’t in the mood to join the hundreds of people in the streets enjoying a good dose of mud foot spa. I was saving my energy for the night, while Janjan and some friends starting getting it on at noon – and I thought that they’re probably going to be dead come evening. I was proven wrong later on.

Early evening, fresh and ready to get it going – I went out and was shocked by the number of people hanging around the compound. I went back inside with my mood down and out. As much as I am a people person, I hate seeing unknown people around me. Say, I probably feel vulnerable. Although, I know they don’t care about me – but I don’t like being in a crowd alone. So, I stayed inside until Marianne and Janjan were ready.

My night didn’t prove to be as good as I envisioned it to be – since everyone was already good, and I barely had it going. I was disappointed. We ate in silence, and it was so humid I could feel my sweat trickle down my back. The rest of the group went out to look for chicks, while the three of us ate. We didn’t know what to do afterwards, since the group didn’t come back pretty soon. We stayed inside the room – until our friend Dran came. It was kind of awkward, since his ex-girlfriend also came in to check... Oops! A three-second pause there.

We went out to scour the streets for the rest of the guys – which was pseudo-impossible with all the living things walking around. It’s unbelievable – you get to ask “where did these people come from”. We saw them on the way back to the compound.

And my supposedly ruined night’s mood started to make a U-turn. The fun started.

Picture-taking in the street while the glass of beer was passed around like a chocolate drink, fireworks and dancing around, a whistle there and some more pictures. It was getting on… We found a good spot in the compound, and friends started pouring in. We played cards, the music played, and more beer was passed. I met new friends, who thought I was 18 or 19 – I laughed so hard at that.

More beer was passed, more pictures were taken and more laughs were made. The guys started dancing in the street and showering everyone with beer. They started messing up with the passing cars, and I got a little concerned because two of them – Soysoy and Julius – just hit the cars a little too close before moving away. Apparently, it didn’t stop there. Julius initiated the bottle throwing – and I was envious. I have never done something so badass before, and the beer some-kind-of gave multivitamins to my guts that time.

I hurled the bottle up the air – and it crashed right in the middle of the street! It was liberating. Another bottle crashed on the other side of the road. And it felt so good!

Moments later, a group of armed men with SWAT printed in their body hugging shirts came. They started asking questions while everybody denied their allegations – they reprimanded while we ended up cleaning up.

After they left, we hung out and laughed some more. I signed off a little later and called it a night.

My Sinulog wasn’t so bad after all. It turned out a little unexpected, but it was fun nevertheless. It was just great.

Same old tune

2011-01-15T20:13:00.000-08:00

My cellphone is the last thing I need right now. It’s 5:03am, I am an hour and three minutes late from work, and I am sitting here in my bed in my sleeping clothes.

I could come up with numerous excuses to call the office, but I chose not to call in at all. I promised myself last week I’ll be a better working class citizen. Apparently, I am not. I know a memo will be waiting for me the moment I come back on Tuesday. I’ll sign it without further ado, I am guilty after all.

I am still harping the same tune. I can brush off responsibility like dandruff on my shoulder over fun. I can’t help but indulge. I am old, dude. I never lacked having fun – you know it. Why can’t I just go home and say – “Hey guys, got to go. Have work tomorrow”. Kick my ass – my mom would back-flip thrice if she hear me say that.

I’ll think about this real hard tomorrow. I would probably need a different person’s opinion. I will probably talk to Claudine pretty soon. She might have thoughts on the matter that will enlighten my nonsensical turmoil.

Till the next pay period

2011-01-15T00:34:00.000-08:00

Talking to two of my colleagues just made me realize how irresponsible I am, have been and in all the tenses you could possible think of. I mean, I didn’t give my parents problems – but I didn’t know that I was too careless, carefree and thoughtless in terms of goals, saving for the future and basically the tomorrow talks.

Okay – here I go again. Back to square one at 25. No savings. No investments. No future? No!!!

---

Aubrey – sends money home to send her younger sibs to school. She pays her bills, shoSp a little and still gets to save.

Van – gives ¾ of his salary to his family. He also pays his bills, shops a little and still gets to save. He was able to buy appliances, gadgets, and etc for himself. He was also able to help in fixing their house.

Verna – has her salary all to herself. She pays her bills, shop a little too much, spends money on countless useless things that she finds cute and couldn’t resist, eats, drinks, and thinks of nothing but going to places. No savings at all – at all.

Dude, I can’t help but wonder on how they managed. My mom yaps at my back all the time – she tells me to save. The question is – for what? The future? What exactly am I supposed to save for? This is such a dumb question. A kindergarten could answer it . But honestly, if you’re going to ask me personally – I can’t save for something that I have no clue about. I can probably save for a new camera, but still – at the end of the day – I’m still going to spend the money. Right? It’s like a battle where I can justify both ends, and I ended up doing the bigger evil rather than restraining and just chilling out.

I wonder when I will outgrow the “fun” mode. I never lacked the fun while growing up – I have it all around me, and I don’t know when I’ll have enough. Since I was a kid – “fun” has always been a keyword in the search button. My parents were too democratic and liberated in raising us – I couldn’t ask for a cooler pair. They let me be, but that didn’t mean that they left me untaught and unrestraint. I could say that they raised us pretty well actually, not too bad. It’s just that – they never made us feel the need to exert an effort because every thing we need and want was within reach. On my end, I never gave them issues in school among other, but they never urged me to excel since I was doing “just fine”. They advised and inspired me to do better, but they never really pushed. It was all up to us. So, I grew up doing things “just fine” and they never really complained. I wonder if I would turn up a better tomato if they were a little, just a little, forceful? Nah... I can’t imagine my life otherwise.

Now, I’m back at where I was several months ago – in a perpetual quarter-life crisis. What do I really want to do? I enrolled in law school in the hopes of following the footsteps of the previous generation. I dropped out and realized a lot of things then. I don’t want to be a lawyer after all – I couldn’t live with the lifestyle. Oh yes, it’ll be glamorous. But I doubt if I’ll be happy. After law school, I realized that all these times all I want to be is be at home. Not lazing around – but I just want to be at home and managing it. Call it mediocre – but trust me, there are a lot of things going on the house, that it actually needs careful planning and minding. I have high respects for housewives, and I hate it when people tag it as “only”.

I’m back to work right now. Just working – and spending my earnings. I don’t plan to pursue further studies anymore – what’s the use of an MBA when I just want to be at home cooking and planning this weeks menu? But still not saving up is a stupid thing. I have to do something about that real quick.

Well, till next pay period.

A living room, a bathroom and a walk-in closet

2011-01-14T07:18:00.000-08:00

Friday. It was my first night in our room last night.

First time since the brothers moved to the room next door, I mean. Almost a week of pseudo-cleaning marathon – and we took our time cleaning. Really took our time – we’d watch a movie or nap in the afternoon, then spend an hour or two in the actual cleaning process. We’re not even officially done yet, we haven’t arranged the little things in the boxes and other containers. I stacked them all in the laundry basket – will definitely deal with those soon. Soon – an endless chain of never ending tomorrows.

Well, back to my first night. The room was actually fixed the night before, but the lovers had an event to attend to and Julius went out with some friends. JR and I shared the same plight of being alone in our respective rooms. We just watched a 1978 Jackie Chan movie and dozed off. The night-outers came home pretty early than usual though, but we were already snoring before midnight came.

But, yeah. Back to my first night in our room. It was the first time that the five of us are officially separated. We used to huddle in the floor, snore at each others armpits, sometimes our feet on each others faces... It was all good times. I can’t help but feel nostalgic. And I know this is reaction overboard – since they basically just moved to the next door. We even share the same bathroom – complete with connecting doors. But somehow, I can still say it’s quite different.

I don’t get to see them sleeping soundly before I go to work. I don’t get to hug JR to sleep anymore. Julius can’t bother us early in the morning when he messes around while preparing for duty anymore. I don’t relish the latter moments, but somehow, I think I might or kinda miss it.

I’m just happy that they are just a knock away still. I’m even writing this in there room right now. On the other hand, it’s actually a good move – this actually widened our territory. Marianne and I are still the dogs around the house. And yes, it’s the two of us left here in the new room we lovingly call our pikas kwarto.

So, here I am. Pseudo-nostalgic, but somehow convincing myself that I don’t have to feel that way. I love these kids, and it would be sad if the whole move will change our relationship.

But, so far so good. I love it. It’s like having your own room furnished with a living room, a bathroom and a walk-in closet.

A year worth of dust

2011-01-10T03:20:00.000-08:00

we started cleaning last saturday, january 8. it's already monday evening, and we're not done yet. first day was dedicated to dusting the ceiling down. yesterday, we're down to the floor -- scrubbing, waxing and polishing. today -- we said we're gonna start arranging our stuff already. it's early evening and we haven't started yet. we spent the whole afternoon watching movies, and just hanging out.

anyhow, it's still early evening. we still have a lot of time tonight. *laughs*

i wish i took a picture of the room before we cleaned it -- it was a year worth of dust, dirt and whatever matter you could think of. the floor's shiny now -- i feel pride every time i open the door and marvel at our masterpiece. it's amazing!

My Bestfriend's Wedding

2011-01-07T02:10:00.000-08:00

My high school best friend got married today -- July.

Christina and I attended the reception. It was through Joey's speech, July's younger sister, that we learned how their love story blossomed. Heartwarming. Especially for us singles for the moment. It made us hopeful, that a similar love story can be related on our own weddings, should we ever get married. *laughs*

Congratulations, Bes. Best wishes to you and Nolit!

Scrapbook?

2011-01-05T17:45:00.000-08:00

2011 here, a lot of things has changed since last year, I was not able to keep track. New year, and a lot of people make a big deal in making resolutions that God knows will not ever materialize. I don’t want to make the same blunder, since I’ve fucked up numerous resolutions in my 25years.

I remember meeting someone in Japan 6years ago, I forgot her name already, but she shared that it would be better to make a scrapbook for the year instead of making resolutions. Scrapbook of your memories for that year – and it makes more sense. You can keep track of the things that you did over the months and reflect on whatever you need to think about.

I told myself I would make a scrapbook. And I laugh – do I even have the patience? Where do I start then... I’ll just revise it. I’ll post updates in my blog to keep track of my year – complete with photos. I’m not gonna do the scrapbook on paper, I’ll just go ahead and click, click the camera.

To start with – today January 4, the brothers are going to move out of the room and on to the next room. I’m on leave and I have a lot of things in mind, but with the lot – I know I’ll end up lazing around and doing nothing, especially with my dysmenorrhea. I’ll just come up with a list with a 60% probability of completion. *sigh*

Moalboal

2011-01-03T05:34:00.000-08:00

Sharing some mementos from my New Year trip to Moalboal. We had a great time both at the beach and in my friends' place.

The rest of the photos are in Facebook though, I just thought of sharing some here.

I'm just very happy with how my 2011 started. It's just great. <3

Happy New Year 2011

2010-12-31T09:57:00.000-08:00

It's 1:57am -- January 1, 2011. Happy new year to you, guys.

I made it to Moalboal, after all - a great way to start my year. I'm very happy right now. I may be away from my family, but I spent it with people dear to me as well. I just love it - I look around me and I can't help but be grateful for all the little drops of happiness that was given to me.

2010 -- I have a lot of stories when you were running. It was like a movie fit for a year. I'll dissect you soon enough, but right now -- I gotta hit the bed. I'm all set for the beach tomorrow.

Beach!!!

Tomorrow -- the trip to Moalboal?

2010-12-30T05:49:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow, last day of 2010.

I'm excited. Jules invited us over to Moalboal for the New Year. I have work and only have a day off, but that didn't stop my enthusiasm. The place was one of my "to-go's" for the year, and the invitation means that I'll be able to accomplish something despite the short notice.

The thing is -- I get off work at 2pm, and the initial plan was to leave at 3pm. Change of plan though -- his mom called and the trip was moved earlier -- before lunch. They are gonna leave without ME! I'm feeling nostalgic already. Them leaving without me -- boohoo. Loser.

So, this is vacation enthusiasm frenzy going down --- Hahaha! I might still make it there though -- but it'll be a trip alone. It won't be the first though... But it would be a first going to somewhere I haven't been to. The question mark dances on top of my head -- should I follow? Let me decide on that tomorrow.

This trip will be my Aloha to both 2010 and 2011. So, I think Verna -- you are going. Imagine the beach, the sights, friends, food, laughter and trip alone -- what more could you ask for? I'm thinking of MY trip -- ALONE! I can't get over it yet.

Still -- you pack. And decide tomorrow.

Moalboal.

An Excerpt

2010-12-20T19:11:00.000-08:00

Rose-colored Glasses over Astigmatism?

Gia went to her table and faced her computer. After a good five minutes of staring at the screen -- she composed an email.

"Dear Paul,

Loving you came naturally, although I can never say it was easy. You are far from what I expected, but you have the three non-negotiable things that I self-declared I wanted and needed in a man. But you’re arrogant, you’re conceited – and as much as I would like to disagree, you have the right to be.

I hate to say that being with you makes my day, and I miss you every time I don’t see you for an hour, a day or even a minute. I dread the day that I’m going to lose you, but that would be inevitable. I can see it coming like the breeze from my little green electric fan. I can take it, I know. I’ve had worse – but it would be sad. I can deal with it, I’ve dealt with something more hurting – but I don’t want to go through it all over again. I hate the way I sound right now – I hate drama, yet I can’t help but feel. Can’t help but feel – and all of these is just because I am in love with YOU.

You don’t deserve me. I don’t deserve you either. You are young, you still have a lot of beer to drain in your juvenile throat. Lots of things to deal with. A whole lot of experience to gain in terms of life and learning. My God, I was dealing with life when you were playing marbles with your neighbors. But why can’t I convince myself to be UN-in-love with you? Is it something you did? Or is it just me falling so easy? Am i really that vulnerable?

I prided myself that my mind works better that my heart, but hell -- how wrong could I be? It’s so disappointing to learn this about myself. Although I still give credit to the fact that my mind can keep it in a little sardine can – and until now, I was able to safely keep it there. It’s so tiring, playing dumb and unaffected when all I want to do is SCREAM.

I love you. And I don’t want to. I have to do something about this really fast. It’s an emergency, this is not doing any good for me. Nor would it do any good to any of us. I just decided. I am going to leave – not immediately, but I will. Not to forget you, because I know I won’t. But to find my peace of mind – my solace and myself. I am not getting any younger, and every little bit of decision matters. You are young, you can afford to play – I can’t.

One thing for sure – we are not meant. And that’s the only reason that keeps me on my tiptoes finding ways to get rid of this flutter in my chest when I am with you. I hate it – since as of the moment, no matter how temporary – the only place where I want to be is with you. With you. With you. But that’s not ever going to happen. I haven’t cried for you yet, and I have no plans of arriving to that point. It’s tiring. I’ve been there, and I don’t want to go back. I don’t know if life is playing with me – but trust me, this is not funny. It’s ridiculous.

I sometimes ask myself if I haven’t learned enough or cried enough? Or haven’t I wasted my time, my emotions and my future enough – just for dear LOVE?! Apparently, I haven't or maybe I still don't know the answer. My mimi Gia, get a grip. This is not going anywhere. I turned on my netbook and write, it’s simply because I’m brimming full. I need to spill some, or I might end up like Veronika in Coelho’s book. As much as I say I’m old – I am still too young to think of finality. I am only 25 years old, I can still travel the world, dream, fall in love again, hurt again and again – and this is just one of those cycles. I already got an idea of how life works. And it’s true, it’s like a wheel – it just goes aroooound and round. So, I am in this position right now – who knows what my disposition will be in a week.

This is good, the more I write – the more I am getting rid of the thought of me being in-love with you. Maybe I can say after all these drama and maybe I’ll be brave enough to say I am over you. And I would relish that moment. And I will hug you like there’s no tomorrow. Thank you – for the liberty, I’ll shout. And thank you for putting rose colored glasses in my eyes after I told myself that I’m not ever going to fall again.

But mind you – I never said it was wrong to love you. Since as of this moment, it seems right and it feels right, and you still make my day. I even hate your name, but as of THIS moment – I love you. Although I am praying for dear sanity to be over it soon. Really, really soon. But now, I still AM in-love with you.

I hope you won't take this against anything. I just wanted you to know.

Happy Christmas!

Gia"

She read her letter one more time, and before she could stop herself clicked the send button. The screen reads "Message Sent!". She sighed and dreaded for a reply.

12/21 – 1:46am

A month to go Part II

2010-11-12T16:26:00.000-08:00

Exactly a month before I turn 25.

Ripe age of twenty and five. What have i really achieved so far?

I finished college. Got a scolarship and studied overseas before i turned 20. Graduated at 21. Three years later, ventured to study law – but gave it up, because of reasons not worth mentioning. Now, 25 – twenty five is almost here, and i’m in the position wherein i feel underachieved. I find myself in a middle of another quarterlife crisis that I can’t seem to get out of.

I told myself i’d get a new hobby. Oh, and i did. Sleeping. It seems to be a comfort these days. It’s like making up for all the sleepless nights from working graveyard and not getting enough since i have to read for school. But now, those are all over. I’m back to almost normal with my morning shift and school less days. I’m still thinking of doing something productive.

And yes, I’ll be thirty soon. Hahaha. It’s just around the corner. Time is running so fast, and i’m just sitting back – watching the world revolve around me like a bottle spinning for truth or dare.

And it’s hard to be content – i look at my colleagues who are 10 years my senior. And we are in the same place, doing the same thing, and they are 10years older than I am. Some of them had been teachers, accountants, managers, call center agents and the list go on... I ask myself, am i going to see myself in there shoes 10years from now? I shake my head and i am determined to be not. That was actually the main drive for law school. And now, i fucked it up. But yeah – charge it to experience again. Countless charges. And they all say I’m young, I can make up for it. I laugh, since with all the things I have in mind – i think i’ve wasted too much of my time dilly-dallying.

But at the end of the day – I just want to be at home – cooking, reading, plan for the week, and take care of my “family”. It’s so funny how I want to do this and that – when in the end of the day, i just want to be like my mom. I just hope I find someone like my dad – or at least half of what my dad is.

And i think this is the main attraction of my position right now. I live with my “cousin” and three “younger brothers”. Marianne and I stay at home and do our thing, while they go to school. I go to work still, but there’s that tug to go home immediately, because you just want to be at home.

It just feels good to be around people you love and who love you back. Every thing just falls into place, and it doesn’t even have to involve romance. It’s a gift – you give it away, and it comes right back to you like a big spoon of chocolate ice cream. Just another thing to be grateful for - love.

+2:25am, 2010 November 13 (with John Mayer crooning in my ears...)

A month to go Part I

2010-11-12T16:24:00.000-08:00

You left me carribean blue...

Song crooning in my earphones. So many memories flashing back and forth. All worth reminiscing. The feeling so fresh again. It throbs in my chest.

A lot of things are going on, yet nothing is really going on. I want change, but i don’t think i have the heart to move on right now. Every thing is comfortable, every thing seems happy. I don’t really know what i want to do anyway. It’s like watching backtrax on MTV – wherein you sing along to the tune, just watching the tv, not moving at all while enjoying the good ol’ songs.

Make it all mine... Jason Mraz singing to me right now. “Sleep all day” followed – how apt. This reminds me of a lot of things. Am i stuck in the past? Have i really learned? I don’t want use the word “over it ” – i chose to believe that we don’t really get over things, or people or events... we just accept that they happened, and move on. Learn. But have i really – learned?

My life seems like a rerun of what has happened. Every thing’s so familiar all over again. It’s like being brought back from where i was in a sugar-coated warp zone, wherein I find myself not knowing whether is this a deja vu or something really new? Uh-oh? Some kinda like the book i’m reading right now? Hail you Robert Fulghum for the thoughts. You make me feel same despite my dysfunctional mind.

I just love Jason Mraz. He’s my harana tonight. Every one’s sleeping, and I’m not near the zone yet. I tried to watch a movie – but I love happy endings w/ a “they lived happily ever after” theme. The movie i have saved in my netbook doesn’t seem to have that, so i closed it. Went back to the keyboard, and tried to just type. While listening to old songs that I can’t get enough of.

I say it’s time to make new memories. Hell, yeah. But I’m listening to “Sleep all day” again – thinking of the moments i had with the song. I smile. Thinking how naive i was, but how right it felt then. Smiling again, thinking of all the little things that’s going on in my life right now. Making new memories with an old song. I have a lot to be grateful for these days. The people around me makes up the color of my every day right now. Although I don’t officially belong here, but my heart does. The laughs, smokes and drinks we share. And we sing the same old songs, and still laugh a good laugh. The banters, teasings and pokes. Every thing. It’s just priceless. Priceless, ordinary things, every day life – new savings for my memory bank. I know i’ll be treasuring them for the rest of my life.

This seems odd. But somehow, I know. Things are about to change soon. I don’t know how soon. And I don’t know what change it’ll be. I just know it will. I just hope that it’s not going to break my heart.

+1:30am, 2010 November 13+ exactly a month before my birthday. I wonder how my silver anniversary will be like... will there be changes in my state of mind? I wonder. That’s all i can do right now anyway. There’s no way of saying where i’ll be or what i’ll be by then. Life is just unpredictable. Although things seems so predictable right now, life has a way of dashing tiny bits of surprises here and there. As much as i don’t like surprises, I still relish getting a good surprise.

Now, it’s John Mayer singing my song – back to you. Back to me? Laughs.

Post-its

2010-07-18T09:29:00.000-07:00

I'm craving for something interesting -- an adventure, a new hobby, a new dress? I don't exactly know. I'm just hungry probably.

I wanted something new in my life before the year ends like any other year. That's why I enrolled in law school. Now? I don't know what I got myself into -- although I'm laughing when I say that, I'm serious. I love the idea that I'm meeting new friends though -- younger friends -- and I'm very happy with the thought of me in school. It's the frustration of me not being able to study as much as I would love to, or probably it's just me not exerting enough effort? Okay, guilty. I slack a bit, as I always do. Or do I slack a lot?! It's not a fault that I can't give up my fun, right?

It's just that when it comes to school -- I always feel inadequate. I mean, I read. But it really rocks me hard when I arrive in school and my classmates have added notes and post-its in their books. I'll probably try to put more efforts with school, huh? I was never the studious type. I made it through basic education and college without burning much of my midnight candle. It's not too late too learn, I hope I'll get the hang of this path that I imposed in my life.

Some people suggested that I go full time -- I'll be honest, when I look at my friends who are full-time students -- I envy them a bit. They don't have to worry about rushing to work after school, getting enough sleep while making sure you have enough time to read your stuff. *sigh*

But I cannot give up my job. One reason, I love it. And mainly because it pays the bills -- my tuition included. If I give it up, it's like cutting my life support. In short -- no job, no school too.

Status at work is good though. I was able to maintain my stats despite the juggle. But I struggled hard at first though. I was even on a corrective action plan because of my poor performance before, but I was able to bounce back. It just took a matter of doing what I had to do -- at work. I hope that I'll be able to do the same in school -- bounce back. Resilience -- my mantra these days.

Gotta keep it real, baby. Gotta keep it going.

Talk to me

2010-06-23T00:13:00.000-07:00

The doctor sent me home last night plus two days of rest -- acute laryngitis. I don't have any voice, but that doesn't mean I can't talk. Silence has always been an effort - it's an agony. Please! I still talk -- too bad, you can only hear the air coming out of my mouth.

Life goes on

2010-06-05T01:55:00.000-07:00

A lot of changes are about to take place in my life. I hope that I'll be strong enough to face them.

Summer 2010

2010-05-24T05:13:00.000-07:00

I finally ticked off one off my 2010 to-do's -- celebrate an anniversary for a job. Have more things to do still.

One entry says "school" -- I'm about to put a mark on that box soon enough. I'll be enrolling come June 2010, but it would depend upon the exam results tomorrow. I took the USC entrance exam last May 15. They say the results will be 10days later -- that will be tomorrow. I didn't finish the exam, but I'll keep myself mum until I see the results tomorrow. I'll go out tonight, drink and be merry.

I'm suppose to write an essay right now. But courtesy of me out of the "www dot" world for awhile -- I tolled on FB, chatted w/ Imay, checked for new songs, and yada-yada. I also tried to update my resume, too. But nothing much to add -- only added my recent job experience and a new reference person.

And Imay asked me a question -- What's new w/ you? That seemed to be the harder question to answer these days. I'm making an effort though, so that the next time someone throws that question -- I'll be able to ay "Oh! I've been..." that. It's boring, really. Although I'm trying give smoking a break -- again -- so, it's not new afterall. I still have the same crush and have the same nail polish color for the last 3weeks. I'm getting attached to white nails. Whatever!

Now, what? I'm hungry. And I haven't started on my essay. I've been sitting here in the cafe for 4hours and 27mins now, and I haven't started on what I'm supposed to finish. *Rant Mode*

Anyhow, can't say I didn't try -- to update, I mean. Hope to see updates on the rest, as well. I know FB's the trend, but nothing beats reading your thoughts guys. It feels more intimate.

I will regret later

2010-02-26T22:40:00.000-08:00

It's almost 3pm, and i'm still bumming in a nearby combini having drinks w/ Jello. I know I should be in my bed, counting the hours until I'll go to work at 9pm tonight. I know I'll regret this later, but let this moment pass... I like to simmer in irresponsibility and impulse again. I've never done anything out of schedule lately -- except that I can never seem to bring my laundry to the laundry shop. Hell, there's always tomorrow -- and I'll never ran out of them, I'll just ran out of clothes.

It's nice to be carefree again. *sigh*

Carefree and in-love.

As if a new template...

2010-01-22T19:26:00.001-08:00

... will inspire me to write.

The whole site needs a renovation, and I don't have the heart to search a whole new template that's going to mess up the elements of my page. I just clicked one of Bloggers pre-designed ones. It didn't do much change -- it's still pink in totality.

I need something better to do.

*buzz

2010-01-15T20:13:00.000-08:00

-- brain dead --

Last day of the year - bye 2009!

2009-12-30T16:02:00.000-08:00

And the year's gone.

Hello tomorrow!

It's amazing how time flies. I didn't even feel the holidays -- although I have to constantly end my calls with a perky "Happy holidays!!". Plastic, much? I don't really have the heart to complain. I just thank my lucky stars, life has always blessed me w/ positivity.

Christmas was spend w/ Mich, Dyan and Tita Flor. Foooood!! Oh my gosh! Three days there and I forgot the meaning of the phrase "I'm hungry". Thankies for adopting me! You made my Christmas extra special. *shmiles

Now, the New Year's coming. No plans needed -- i'll be yapping "Happy New Year!" on my Avaya. I'll be off by January 2 morning. What to do then? Well, come what may. I'm pretty sure something will turn up. Or I could always conquer my separation anxiety from Drizzt and finish that book. I dreamt of him last night, by the way -- went with him to the undercity. *dreaming mode

2010. What now? Apocalypse?

Bad joke. Haha.

untitled #2

2009-10-26T22:41:00.000-07:00

i have better thoughts in mind, i just don't know how to pen them down. i'm back to chasing words w/ a flyswat -- just couldn't get them right. a lot of things happened since the last time i hit the publish button, but nah!

i still haven't met savings, and i still have a thing for bola-bola. i haven't fulfilled my cheesecake cravings, maybe i'm just waiting for michelle - i miss that starfish. and i miss alain, too. it's just different going home alone. he moved on to another company, along w/ most of my wavemates. it's sad, and i'm being selfish. i know they're better off there, but i just can't help but wish i could still roam around the floor and look for them.

i love my new team, but there's just a but w/o the rest of wave179 around. *sigh no use getting mushy, life moves on and you turn the pages and wave.

just finished sharing a new status in facebook -- "catching words from the tips of my hair, nailing them down. just couldn't get it right. stuck on a page, can't turn it and get it over w/. can't let it go, but will have to. let me just cling to it a little bit more, i love the sado-masochistic tinge." whatever that means -- it doesn't necessarily involve a man.

my palm itches, i hope this means money. my atm's down to it's last php97.00. paquin php3.00 - where did you go? i could use the last hundred. shiet! anyhow, few more days... and, *bow

I miss

2009-09-09T23:11:00.000-07:00

... cooking.

I went back to the kitchen when we celebrated Angel's birthday, and I realized how much I missed the chopping board, knife and the stove.

In our current place, there's no avenue for my domesticity. Boarding house, got work and all. And besides why should I cook, when I can just utang my lunch in the carenderia downstairs?

Anyhow, I'm looking forward our next kitchen getogether. If Paula's going to make pasta, I'll make yummy salad, chicken in white sauce, onion rings, and buko pandan or mocha crumble for dessert. Bumz (in Cebu), when should we do this -- weekend after sweldo?

Hmmm...

untitled #1

2009-08-28T00:19:00.000-07:00

a vain way to update.

i'm getting used to the graveyard life, and liking it actually. the rants of spoiled american consumers seem to make my day now. i'm still struggling with my average talk time -- i talk too much and have the tendency to repeat myself more than i'm supposed to. gotta take a day at a time.

i'm looking forward another ukay trip though. hopefully by the weekend... angel's birthday is coming up soon, too. on the 8th -- anything in mind, guys? she's turning two dozen years, as well. haha!

i wanna go to dumaguete this weekend as well, but -- gotta work. can't believe i'm hearing this from myself. sucks!

Random Updates

2009-07-03T23:42:00.000-07:00

I'm currently researching for a possible article update for my freelance.

I have yet to email the letter I made yesterday, but I can't seem to get myself to do it until later.

I'm thinking of quitting smoking all over again. I haven't fully decided on this, I'm cutting back on my sticks though. Nicotine can be addicting.

My favorite liquid eyeliner's container broke yesterday - I'm sad. I need to get a new one.

I have a new favorite pizza place - Pizzeria Bella Italiana in Raintree Mall.

I painted my nails purple the other day, now I'm thinking of repainting them yellow.

I just remembered I promised to load Claudine P100.00 last weekend, I'll do that before I go to work today.

I'm several chapters short of finishing 'Tis and I'm looking forward to reading Teacher Man -- all by Frank McCourt.

Maya Angelou's book is the next in line. I think I'm going to read this book before Teacher Man.

I should keep my budget to a maximum of P150.00 per day. I survived w/ a hundred before, why can't I do it now? (WTF??)

I just realized I have a thing for bola-bola.

I love Sbarro's garlic bread.

I'm posting this in my blogspot blog, too. (posted this in my Friendster blog earlier.)

I'll take the jeep later. (I promise!)

I'm craving for something sweet and cheesy -- I'm thinking of blueberry cheesecake. (Stop it!)

My hair looks too girly now, I'm debating whether I should chop it na or let it grow a little bit longer. I need to re-dye though, roots are now showing.

My brother's gonna be a father soon -- not a husband soon, I hope.

What else?

Jollibee-happy!

2009-06-24T07:25:00.000-07:00

I just can't help but share this photo. *laughs

Jollibee makes me happy! I just can't help it - every time I see a moving Jollibee (I know, it's a mascot, duh?) I go all gaga and hyper. Then I'll start giggling and laughing.

C'mon, look at him? Ain't he cute?!

You have to know what I mean when I say cute! *laughs

Entertaining some thoughts

2009-06-19T08:11:00.000-07:00

During the course of my three days two nights rest day, my head entertained the thoughts of hanging out with someone new again.

Like going out, watching a movie, talking over coffee, maybe a long walk (holding hands? Haha)... All the sissy stuff. I was smiling like a fool for a minute, and when I realized where all these lead -- I stopped and shook my head. No.

*laughs

I'm not closing my doors. It's just that I'm having the time of my life right now. I'm back hanging out with my friends, meeting over coffee, window shopping, just shopping, eating out, sleepovers, movies and junk food, painting nails together, just being silly, crushing like high school all over, giggling (Oh my gawd, I giggle!), meeting new people, and all that jazz. I can't seem to get enough of it.

I'm just not ready yet for the thoughts I was entertaining. But let me entertain them nevertheless, I love the kilig part - that's the thing I can't get enough of! Hihi! (See? I'm giggling! Wtf?!)

By the way, I have a crush. But I won't be surprise if he turns out to be gay. *bow

Weddings

2009-06-07T07:39:00.000-07:00

"I'm going to have a wedding."

I muttered that under my breath when I saw my cousin walked down the aisle today. It was such an emotional moment, I laughed while stopping my tears from falling -- a sight of happiness only bound to happen once. At that particular moment, I understood a lot of things about what people say about weddings.

My cousin was a perfect example of a radiant bride - happy. And you can see it just by the way she smiles. The stress from the all the preparations seem to fade away. I sigh once more. I'm such a hopeless romantic, and I'm just so happy for my Nene Ainee.

Thanks for the inspiration, Neng.

IBM Sprint Wave 179

2009-05-22T07:39:00.000-07:00

Three weeks on the job - training still. I'm having a little bit of information overload, but that doesn't stop me and my wavemates from having our bucket of unpreempted laughs.

I love our training. (Specific - training. I haven't had the taste of the production floor yet, so I'll keep my judgment till then.) These days feel like going back to school all over again - complete with classroom, white boards, classmates, trainers, modules, laughters, breaks, love triangles, love teams, crushes and so on.

There's 20 of us in our wave, and we all hit it off well. No KJ's, no spoilers - every body's just cool with each other. The constant prayer in our head right now -- "Let us make it to the floor together!" So high school, huh? Not really. I think every body's working hard for their spot. And it would be sad if some of us won't make it. The thought is heartbreaking. I'm getting emotional! *laughs

This is all the mock calls fault. I mean, we haven't had our first mock call evaluation for the second part of the training - but thinking about it is enough to make me go "cuckoo!". By the way, the first evaluation's going to be this Monday. Let me pray for a moment here. *silence

A little something about my CVG group:

Alain, one of my closest wavemate, reminds me of Nitz so much. Not necessarily physically, but he exudes a similar aura. Michelle knows what I mean - they met, kay we hung out in Figaro the other week. He's the white version though! (I love you Nitz!)

Another one is Jello's schoolmate in law school, Lemuel, and he's such an adorable bully. He's the reason why I keep blurting out the "b**at" word. I don't hate him for it - I'm just sure that he'll have his moment soon. *plotting

Two of my wavemates are also Mara's students - Donald and Faith. They call her "Miss Mara". I so can imagine. *giggle Donald is the Beyonce/Britney/Nicole-wanna be - and he gave a flying kiss to somebody in class! I wouldn't say it here, but the class knows this. *laughs Faith the fashionista-punk. She said she'd summon all the great writers in history... Them dead writers?Freaky! Anyway, one boring lecture, she doodled gay butterflies in my handout.

I also have a kabsi, Vien, who always makes an effort to make a joke. It's the effort that cracks us up, not necessarily the joke. But he's usually successful in making us laugh.

Joy, our 30-year-old who is very much like 24. She buys the same shoes in three different colors, and buys three similar capris in different colors too! And she has been boarding house hopping since the first week of May.

My smoke buddies - Alain, Mark and Erick. You know Alain already. So, there's Mark who calls me Bebang, because he thought it was my nick name - or more like insists it's my nick name. He's also next to Lemuel for being the serial miss caller in our Avaya's. Erick who blushes like a steamed prawn every time he talks in class, but that doesn't stop him from raising his hand. He also forbade me from walking along the pipe near our smoking spot - after he learned that Alain reminded me of my being accident prone.

My giggle/laughmate Flor. I laugh, he cracks up. The next thing we know, the rest of the class joins the fun. *bow

There's Mommy Aureen and Opaline - the Southern belles, since they're both from Pardo. Both are mothers, but Mommy Au's very kikay and Opal is just svelte. Opal and I are both MassCom, but none of us were able to respond when we were asked about "Active Listening". So much for being...

The other mommies are Mommy Jossie, Zellah and Reene. Jossie, the hip grandmother in their reporting-ala-Zellah (role play), with two stupid grandsons named Lemuel and Erick. Zellah, HR, *bow. She ugtos-ly explained the payroll to all of us despite her own uncertainty, and because of that - she's now our official in-house HR. And Reene is our soft-spoken and sekretong-tuplok mommy, who would transport her family to Cebu if she had a magic wand for a day - however, she will also transport them back to Cagayan by the end of the day. *laughs

There's Stev and Jova. Stev - the stripper. She said she's be one, if she didn't know how to speak in English! Jova, on the other hand, is our tattoed photography-enthusiast. She wears the coolest shirts, but she won't let you read the print - you'll have to do your own investigative probing to be able to.

And there's our three dolls - Cherry, Cathy and Mae. These three are the girlies in the wave, but they're distinct in their own right. Cherry - the exotic animal protector! She's a biology major, and loves to study bats. (Bats? Well, yeah, bats.) Cathy is the politician in the making? She's planning to use Lemuel in her future cases - whatever that means. Mae - the one with a crush in the class! Hmmm... I so love intrigues. Mae and the crush! *laughs

----

I literally introduced the whole class, didn't I? Heh! Well, that's IBM Sprint Wave 179 for you, folks.

*I'll post our photo soon.

Diplomas and Future Talks

2009-04-28T08:06:00.000-07:00

Boy Abunda just received his bachelor diploma, and he's planning to pursue masters soon.

That news gave me some hope that it's not too late to pursue further studies after all. Law doesn't seem as evasive as it seemed a month ago. And even if I'm to enter law school in two years, I could still finish it before I reach 30. Not so late naman, right?

I am to start working for one of the BPO's here in Cebu next Monday. The pay is good - it will enable me to save, should I be financially responsible at that, enough for my future tuition. Law school costs around P20000, or say P30000, per semester. Eight semester would probably reach P240000 - P10000 per month for two years. If I'm going to follow that strictly, I won't have enough money for my monthly necessities??

Or maybe I should try doing both - school and work? A lot of people do it, then maybe I can too. *sigh It's still a long way to go though, but let me think about it anyway.

I also met one of Jello's media friends earlier, and she also tried working for the same company where I'll be in. She said that if I'll just save up, and not laag and spend a lot, I can save around P100000 in a year's time. Sounds big, huh? Well, that's something. (As if law school's the only thing I have to save for. I still have a lot of utangs to pay! OMG! Haha. But at least the dream of being an attorney is not so unreachable anymore.)

Or maybe I should just opt for masters? At least it's only two years. Choices, choices. Me thinking about them even if I'm a long way from making them. Let this be a dream gauge as of the moment. *bubbles, bubbles popping in my head

Okay, Verna. Positivity.

A Must Read for Every One: Angela's Ashes

2009-04-25T19:48:00.000-07:00

I read this in the most apt time in my life - I just had an operation, quit my job, no money of my own, and I was complaining with almost about anything. This book changed a lot my perspective towards living, family, poverty and life's blessings. In short, reading this made me grateful with what I have and made me realize the little blessings in my life that I just took for granted.

This is all about a young boy's life in a poverty-stricken, highly-pious, cold Limerick, Ireland. With a drunkard father and a mother who tries to keep the family together despite every thing. After reading this, poverty made a different meaning on me. Imagine going to school with an empty stomach and coming home to find out there's no food on the table since the father finished all the money drinking in the pub. And they had to go to the streets in the middle of a winter night to look for anything that burns to keep them warm. At least here in the Philippines, we don't have to deal with winter and that's something to be grateful already.

The book is written in the first person - Frank talking from his childhood until his late teens. You grow along with the character as you progress reading, since the character's perspective and understanding towards what's happening around him also changes. McCourt's words are just beautiful.

You should read this. And whoever has a copy of the book's sequel 'Tis, please tell me.

For the bumz, should you want to read the book, Angel and Claudine has copies.

Just About Nothing or Anything

2009-04-20T22:33:00.000-07:00

i just noticed among my friends, no one blogs as much as they used to. i'm guilty of that, too. but i miss bloghopping among their pages and just getting random updates about whatsoever that tickled their fancy at that moment. maybe people are just busy, or maybe no one's just in the mood for a good keyboard-beating action. i for one doesn't have much to tell at the moment.

but i'd like to tell you about our room - i love it. angel and i cleaned it last weekend, and we bought racks&some other things to help organize our stuff. we even have a makeshift low table with several books (for character purposes) on top, and a woolen blanket that serves as it's carpet. we're planning to add cushions later on, and some artsy stuff we can put in wall and ceiling. one step at a time, but we'll get there. i just love it.

angel's also planning for her wishlist, and i'll have a wish box. some things to save on, and some things to look forward to. i feel like a teenager all over again - in a giddy-giddy, lip-twitching kinda way. *laughs

oh! it's nice to be young. i'm 23 and it feels so old at times. and as i think about the different things happening and going on in my life, i realized how boring i've become! tough, huh? *laughs

Summer Ramblings

2009-04-15T17:03:00.000-07:00

it's summer, and i need a tan. i miss the beach, and the moments when i just need to grab a bottle of water&sunblock and walk towards it. my friends just came from bantayan. the photos were fabulous - they were enough to make an ex-beach junkie drool and curse. they'll probably photoblog it soon - you'll know what i mean when you see it.

Inday's Big Day

2009-04-06T21:58:00.000-07:00

Inday's big day today. Happy Wedding!

It's the 1st wedding for the barkada, and despite the short notice - we're excited. I just wish I could be there to see her go from Miss to Missus.

Breakfast

2009-03-27T00:41:00.000-07:00

I'm starting to feel content at home. After so long of trying to live on your own, having your favorite breakfast ready when you wake up in the morning is a great thing.

Birthday Talks

2009-03-21T01:44:00.000-07:00

"Happy Birthday Claudine!"

Dirgy asked me yesterday if it was Claudine's birthday today, and I told him yes and that she's turning 24.

"Eeew. Too old!" ang reply sa buang na Dirgy.

I laughed, then I realized all of us are going to follow suit. 24 does sound old. (Oops! Sorry Bam. Hehe.) I texted Mich about it, and she also felt the same. The two of us are going to be 24 come December, and even if it's still months away - I know it's inevitable. I will be 24 this year! Then come 25, then 26, and the next thing you know - you're out of the calendar. Is this why older people make a fuss about the calendar? I'm starting to feel that I'll soon be doing the same.

Aging (I hate the word) seems to come naturally these days. I can still remember the moments when I wanted to grow up so fast. It's just funny, because now I'm starting to feel the need to hit the pause button somewhere. I don't know how though, but I just want to.

This is such a depressing birthday post for a friend. Just mind the big green letters, consider the succeeding words trash. Huh! Yey! Haha.

Link up the Newbie!

2009-03-12T23:27:00.000-07:00

John Boaz now blogs!!!